A bite out of the Big Apple

When a fire left her homeless, Karyn Watt took the opportunity to enrol on a course to sit the New York bar exams. She describes how she fulfilled the ambition of a lifetime.

On 31 October last year my washing machine went on fire, blowing up my kitchen. This was not as rumoured either a radical plan on my part to lose weight or the washing machine’s failure to cope with my undergarments. The result was that most of my house was badly damaged, and I was to be homeless for the next few months.

The loss of my Imelda Marcos collection of shoes, and my “Billy Smarts Circus meets Liberace”collection of suits was almost too much to bear. Whilst my pals were sympathetic, they were concerned to hear that some of my CDs may have survived.

I did not fancy selling the Big Issue. It was time to fulfil an ambition of mine.For years I have been fascinated by the American legal system. What attracted me? Was it the excessive use of shoulder-pads in LA Law, the perma-tans sported by the attorneys in Dallas and Dynasty, or the tunes in Ally McBeal? Who knows. What I did know was that I fancied being part of it.

So it was that I found myself on a plane heading to New York on the second of January to sit my New York bar exams. I had enrolled on a seven week course designed to be a refresher course for those Americans who had just completed their law degrees or who had attempted the bar exam unsuccessfully. I had no idea of what I was letting myself in for. It had been some 20 years since I had been at “School” (as they quaintly call it).

I set off to my first class with some trepidation.

The course was held in  a building on Times Square. For those of you who have been to NY you will know the area round there is buzzing at all times of night or day. Almost immediately, so was my brain. Since 9/11 the security in NY has been very tight and I faced the equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition at the doorway. I think my best Aberdonian only served to confuse matters.

Finally I was let into class and realised to my abject horror that we were starting on Criminal Law. Ist degree Homicide, 3rd degree arson, 2nd degree robbery… it was all a  blur of trigonometry. Then Evidence. Do you know that a jury can validate written evidence, rather than an expert witness? Then Procedure. I must try out my new-found plea-bargaining skills next time I am in Whighams Wine Bar.

Real Property (Conveyancing to the rest of the world) followed. I would prefer to call it Surreal Property. Our lecturer insisted on singing to us to provide us with mental plugs. This worked well as some of her efforts were certainly unforgettable. I had a lecturer from Alabama for Contract law. The strong southern drawl certainly made me question whether we were both speaking the same language.

How time flies when you are enjoying yourself. Actually, I was, in spite of having to work like fury. I was staying in a wonderful boutique hotel on 55th and 6th Avenue, just round the corner from Carnegie Hall. I’d like to say that I saw something cultural there, but actually I saw REM instead, who were great. My boyfriend and I joined a gym to try to work off  the excesses of the typical American portions. Food servings over there can be truly scary. At breakfast in the hotel I often saw people create Jenga-like towers of food out of assorted bagels and muffins. And the waffles, if you were brave enough to attempt one, were the size of a mini roundabout. I think the philosophy is that if you are spending $250 a night in the hotel (who said NY is cheap), this consists of $50 for your room and $200 worth of breakfast.

Small wonder then that I joined a gym. The gym was about five minutes away in the Rockefeller Centre. I realised it was going to have its moments when they provided me with grey shorts and t shirt and I wandered into the work out area like dumbo to find that everyone else had their own personal trainers and excellent plastic surgeons. Not to be outdone, I got myself a lesson with a personal trainer. I introduced myself. “Gee, you have a neat accent“ he enthused “where are you from?” “Scotland,“ I proudly replied.

“Gee, I’ve never been to Scandinavia,” he announced. Oh well.

Back to class. At least  I  thought Corporations would not be so different. Silly me for jumping to conclusions. I found myself having to concentrate very hard on getting a grasp of what really is a very different legal system. My experience of working  in England for a number of years certainly helped. I also raised the class average age by several years. When I told my tutors and classmates that I had come over with no previous experience of the US constitution, had never studied US law, and was learning their whole legal system in seven weeks, I was met with reactions which varied between trying to have me certified and simply guffawing in my face.

The day of the exams approached. Day one consisted of five essays on the laws of NY, one file study and 50 multiple choice. I sat the exam, along with about 3500 other hopefuls, at Madison Square Gardens. As the invigilator read out the regulations, it stirred in me those old feelings of nausea and incontinence that I used to feel at Aberdeen University on exam days.

The next day consisted of six hours of multiple choice on the general US law. Just when I thought I had started to get the hang of some of the NY regulations, they had to go and introduce a whole new set for the rest of the states! And often there was not a completely correct answer. There would be two correct, but one more correct than another. Did I need a wee dram that night.

Was it all over? Sadly not. I still had an ethics exam to sit. I can imagine that a few of you who know me might be thinking that for me, as an Aberdeen supporter, that would be the most difficult exam. How difficult could it be, I thought. Presumably I would just have to mention that it is not a good idea to steal your clients’ money. Was I in for a shock.

I had not taken into account the wackiness of the intertwining of law and politics. In the exam, for example, I was asked little gems like whether or not a judge could sit on a school board. I came away in a state of confused exhaustion.

Last  week  I went onto the NY Bar Association website to see if I had passed. Miracles can happen .I had passed.  Sadly, my best chums in the class did not pass. Of 3167 who sat the February bar, only 1338 of us were successful. The pass rate is notoriously low and I spoke to a couple of people who were attempting it for the seventh time.  And for information, you need to get over 82% to pass the MPRE ethics section. I felt particularly sorry for one of them. She had worked for Amex in Tower Four of the World Trade Centre, and had obviously been deeply affected by what she had seen on 9/11.

If you want to find out a bit more about how to sit your bar exams, I would recommend you look up the Bar exam website (www.nybarexam.com) and the bar/bri site which tells you about the courses available (www.barbri.com).