Staying awake, actually

The tradition of looking back to the old year and forward to the new shows more than anything that life is a rolling programme, as Forrest Gump might have said. If he did, I was probably asleep at the time as schmaltz has that effect on me. I certainly wish I had been asleep on the last Saturday in November between 4pm and 6pm in the cinema complex on West Nile Street, instead of being wide awake despite the Dumbarton Faculty Dinner the previous evening.

I know that the accepted wisdom is that the main requirement for a shrieval appointment is a Teflon coated bladder for sitting endless hours on the bench, but I reckon an equally important attribute is the ability to listen to the members of the local faculty into the small hours in a local hotel. It can be a cathartic annual experience for practitioners to interrupt, speak without being spoken to and generally enjoy some very good company when the courtroom usually forbids such pleasures. With four from the bench gracefully accepting the invitation and with no possibility of escape, it was an opportunity enthusiastically embraced by the Dumbarton Faculty. A good evening was had by all, resolving the past well into the future, beyond the early hours and setting the scene for the festive season and the new year.

Anyway, what started this year and didn’t finish? A fair amount actually.

The mess made of the new stamp duty land tax is not going to be over before the end of the year. Can all conveyancers please encourage any client adversely affected to complain to the appropriate authority? The Title Conditions (Scotland) Act is set to cause confusion for a number of years. But there is good news too. The good legislation passed by the Parliaments, including the Council of the Law Society of Scotland Act 2003 will show benefits for years to come. Some benefits will need time to take effect, but patience for good legislation is something many people have.

A year is a short time in politics and the law. Nine years, however, is a long time and it is reportedly the ninth year in a row that the European Court of Auditors in Luxembourg has refused to certify the accounts of the EC. It is understandably causing concern that the European Commission is looking into how the professions in Europe are regulated! The UK Parliament is also looking at professional regulation – of the legal professions in England and Wales. It’s good to know that the Government, in looking at the composition of the House of Lords, is going to regulate peers in accordance with the standards they themselves demand. Better regulation in Parliament will show us all standards to which we may wish to aspire and no doubt give the Government a view of regulation the profession have seen for many years.

But, as I was saying, I unfortunately was not asleep in the cinema when I wish I had been, which is a shame because one of the best things about my year so far is that the schedule has meant that I have acquired the ability to sleep almost anywhere – especially on trains and planes. Unfortunately this new talent let me down during the cinematic hit of the season, “Love Actually”. It should have been called “Clichés Actually” or “You’ll Cringe Actually”. The film seemed to be designed to show that the Brits can make films every bit as bad as anything Hollywood has produced. For the mistake I made in going and taking the perspective of Scrooge on a “feelgood” film I blame the legal profession – why not, everything else is our fault – since because of the aforementioned schedule and trying to resolve the issues of the years past, present and future I did not have time to read the reviews which were presumably damning, and still felt a little too ragged at the edges for that amount of cheer. It is comforting to know that despite the lawyer jokes it seems it is in fact actors who will do anything so long as there’s money in it.

Since everyone is encouraged to complain nowadays I’ll complain to the Cinematic Services Ombudsman and will get my money back, compensation for the cost of my calls and stamps and a hefty award of compensation. Sometimes the problem with sleeping anywhere, any time, any place is that it can lead to dreams.

Reality on the other hand is that the Scottish system is up there with the “Best Actually” in terms of its members, business ideas or commitment to justice. I would like to wish the profession a successful year in which the Scottish legal system gains better recognition for its value – that would give us all some good cheer!