Rock bottom?

How many times, over the years, have you heard clients describing a difficult situation, and thought to yourself: “If only they had come to see me earlier, it would have been so much easier to help them”?

It has been said that people change for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation. When it comes to recovery from alcohol abuse, desperation is almost always the driving force. Everyone has heard stories of an alcohol abuser hitting “Rock Bottom” – that moment when he or she is forced to face the devastating consequences of continued drinking and take an agonising decision, to continue on a path of self-destruction and chaos or to make a commitment to sobriety and change.

Rock Bottom does not have a road map. It is unique to each individual and may be as simple as a routine medical examination that reveals liver problems, or making a fool of oneself at office functions. It could be the breakup of a marriage and loss of family, or a drunken bout of physical violence of which the individual can remember virtually nothing. Whatever the trauma, it will be of enough magnitude to act as a wakeup call and steer the alcoholic toward reality, and possible recovery.

Sometimes, an alcoholic in recovery may be able to look back on one darkest day and recall it as the catalyst to recovery. However, not everyone has to experience serious or tragic consequences before facing up to a drinking problem. There are many alcoholics who maintain relatively high-functioning lifestyles, and this is part of the denial process, fooling not only the individual concerned, but also his/her family and friends, into thinking that the drinking is not a real problem.

All just a façade?

With such individuals, rather than a serious specific event or consequence that finally causes them to take stock, there is a more progressive, subtle and degenerative process that gradually impacts on their lifestyle. Imagine the lawyer who ostensibly has it all – successful practice, home, wife, children at private school. Surely this person could not be an alcoholic? Surely an alcoholic would not remain so successful? Would not be able to work? Would never function at the level required by the legal profession?

All of these assumptions are wrong.

“High bottom” alcoholics will delude themselves into thinking that even though they drink every day, or binge at the weekend, they only do it as a necessary social part of their career. They tell themselves things like “If it were not for my job, I wouldn’t drink at all.” They will genuinely believe that they have their drinking under control and that they are entitled to unwind from the stresses of work with a drink. They will believe that the edginess and anxiety they feel can be wholly attributed to their demanding career and long hours, and have nothing to do with the alcohol they consume.

Although to the outside world such individuals can appear to have idyllic lifestyles, behind closed doors their partner, family and colleagues may be feeling/expressing considerable concern about the amount of drinking that is taking place. This will require the alcoholic to reassure them, although there may be times when the alcoholic has difficulty in reassuring him/herself. There may be nagging doubts and a struggle to maintain the façade of a successful lawyer, family member and work colleague. There may also be a growing realisation that there is increasing difficulty performing at the level required, or having the clarity of thought to process complex legal problems. There may be lack of motivation, and clockwatching until escape from the office, for some liquid stress relief, becomes possible. Unpredictability and mood swings may also become the norm at work and at home. The ability to rationalise almost any alcohol-induced situation becomes second nature. With the absence of any apparent major consequences, the alcoholic does not believe that help is required. Is this an advantage or a disadvantage?

Heed the warning signs

The answer is really a bit of both. It is not necessary to hit “Rock Bottom”, but it is vital to look honestly at how the drinking is negatively affecting career, relationships, emotional and physical health, and quality of life. It is always easier to rectify the problems at an early stage if the warning signs are heeded early. These may be:

• Feeling the need to cut down
• Testing by occasionally abstaining from alcohol
• Becoming annoyed and defensive when questioned about drinking
• Drinking in morning or early afternoon, to steady nerves or nurse a hangover
• Concern from family and friends
• Lying to self or others about alcohol consumption
• Anticipation of next drink
• Apologising for inappropriate alcohol-induced behaviour
• Justifying alcohol as appropriate for stress relief
• Being overwhelmed by the thought of stopping drinking

Denial of these types of warning signs is a critical part of the progression into alcoholism. Whether the alcoholic is brought to his/her knees by a thundering blow, or slowly sinks into the depths of despair, recovery is the only sane road to a healthier and fulfilled life. The earlier that recovery is attempted, the more chances of success there will be.

The road to recovery does not have to be travelled alone. LawCare is there to support and assist confidentially, to refer to professional treatment centres and/or counsellors, as needed.

For confidential, non-judgmental help, ring: 0800 279 6888, 9am-7.30pm Monday to Friday and 10am-4pm Saturday and Sunday.

Mark Hepburn is Substance Abuse Counsellor and Co-ordinator for Scotland for the charity LawCare.