A window of opportunity

As a service provider your success and that of your firm is dependent on your ability to attract, contract with and retain clients. While advertising and reputation might very well attract a potential client, and knowledge, skills and abilities might ensure they continue to engage you, getting the client to contract with you initially is a more difficult proposition. However, it is made far easier if the prospective client likes you, and making a positive first impression is a crucial step.

When you meet someone for the very first time, the other party is subjected to a small sample of who you are. This sample represents 100% of what they know about you and acts as a filter through which all future information about you is judged. There are two key points. First, they will subconsciously assume this sample to be an accurate and true representation of you. Secondly, they will use this small amount of information to make large generalisations about your character and personality. For instance, a person who is smiling is judged to be more honest than a person who is frowning, and a person who appears to be upbeat is considered more likeable and successful.

First impressions last

Importantly, through a process known as “selective perception”, later information that is seen to challenge or contradict the initial first impression is filtered out. A positive initial first impression is very resilient to attack. Conversely, those who make a negative first impression will find it very difficult to alter the other person’s opinion of them. Negative information is highly resistant to change. An individual viewed as being lazy who later adopts a very proactive and enthusiastic approach will still be seen as lazy and their proactive endeavours will be viewed with suspicion. 

The astute lawyer will therefore use the initial face-to-face encounter to portray and then deliver an impression which is designed to positively influence their client’s opinion of them.

People communicate on three levels: words, voice and body language. Of these, words are perhaps the most utilised by the lawyer, followed by voice and finally body language. However, research has shown that words account for only 7% in the delivery of an effective communication. Voice accounts for 38%, leaving body language (which incorporates appearance) to the remaining 55%.

The vocabulary of body language

Dress reflects how a person perceives themselves and influences how others perceive them. As a lawyer, you want to portray an impression of an organised, competent professional. A suit or dress that does not fit properly, a crumpled blouse or shirt, a poorly knotted tie or unpolished shoes all lead to the creation of a negative impression. Clothes should be clean and well fitting and any accoutrements should enhance the impression you intend to portray.

How an individual chooses to carry themselves sends a variety of signals to those around them. For instance:

n When walking, longer comfortable strides convey more confidence and authority than a series of short steps.

n When sitting, it is important to display an open and relaxed posture – and always maintain good eye contact. Most people make eye contact 45 to 60% of the time. Burgoon, Coker and Coker discovered that those who have a below average level of eye contact are perceived as superficial and less credible than those who made average or high levels.

• Paul Ekman has shown that smiling can actually alter a person’s emotional state. The function of smiling transforms your feelings and makes you feel happier.
• The quality of a handshake influences how a person is perceived. A firm handshake will have a positive impact on the other person’s impression of you. Interestingly, research suggests that women with firm handshakes are judged more positively than men with similarly firm handshakes.

In short, a relaxed open posture combined with good eye contact, a warm smile and a firm handshake will directly impact on how you are viewed by the other person.

An interactive process

Making a positive first impression is about being liked. It’s far easier to say “yes” if you like a person than it is if you don’t. There are four approaches available to improve likeability: appreciation, connection, elevation and enlightenment:

• By letting the other person know that you understand and respect their positive qualities, they will appreciate you.
• If you share something in common such as a friend, an interest or an experience then you have created a connection between you and the other party.
• If you smile, make someone laugh, direct their attention to the positive and humorous element in a situation you can elevate the other party’s mood.
• We all like to learn something new, whether it is an interesting fact, an idea or trivia. Enlightening others makes you more stimulating and appealing to be around.

When used appropriately, each will contribute towards influencing the other person’s perception of you.

It is important to remember that making a positive first impression is an interactive process involving two or more individuals. After the meeting you may feel you made a positive first impression – they appeared to be listening, they asked some detailed questions which showed they were interested and they laughed at your jokes. The other party however, may have a different and less flattering recollection, which involved you talking and them listening. Making a positive first impression is not only about how you come across: it is also about how the other person feels about you and themselves.

Conduct a dialogue rather than a monologue. When the other person is talking, show them you are listening. Nodding, summarising what they have just said and asking appropriate questions demonstrate that you have been listening and go a long way towards making that positive first impression.

When time equals trust

Researchers in America wanted to discover which doctors were more likely to be sued. To do this they recorded hundreds of conversations between doctors and their patients. Roughly half of the doctors had been sued for malpractice at least twice while the other half had never been sued. They discovered that those who had never been sued spent more than three minutes longer with their patients than those who had been sued (18.3 minutes compared with 15 minutes). They were more likely to explain to the patient what they were about to do, they made conversation, allowed time for questions, and laughed more. There was no difference in the amount or quality of information they provided. Lawyers who, therefore, take time to converse with their clients may very well enjoy the dividend of not being sued.

A manner of speaking

The voice should engage the client’s ears. If it is too soft they may not hear what has been said. If it is too loud they might be concentrating on the volume rather than the content. A monotone or a monosyllabic delivery may result in the other person detaching themselves from the conversation. Malcolm Forbes aptly said: “By inflexion you can say much more than words do”. By varying the tone, pitch, volume and speed of delivery, words and sentences can be used to convey a variety of emotions (including surprise, anger, enthusiasm and bewilderment) each of which, when used appropriately, can positively influence how individuals perceive each other.

Your choice of words will either contribute towards or detract from the impression you hope to convey. Avoid local colloquialisms. While their meaning might be clear to some, they might not be understood by others. Also avoid using words that are designed to impress the other person with the range and extent of your vocabulary. While this may raise your confidence and self-esteem, it may have the opposite impact on the client and prove ruinous to the relationship.

Beware of your biases

Everyone, whether consciously or not, holds a number of personal biases some of which may have a detrimental impact on how they wish to be seen.

In the 1990s Ian Ayers discovered that black men would pay more for a car than white men, and black women paid more than either. The salesmen held a strong and automatic association between what they perceived as a “push-over” and women and minorities.

Behind a screen Abbie Conant was deemed good enough to play for one of the world’s leading orchestras. However, she was later dismissed because she was a female. Conant’s first impression was deemed good enough but this was overruled because of the judge’s personal bias against women.

At a conscious level few people would believe they harbour a height bias. But a study of half of the Fortune 500 companies discovered that the majority of chief executives are not only white but they are almost all tall, just under six feet while the average American male is five feet nine inches tall. The height differential also affected salaries. A six feet tall person was making $5,525 a year on average more than a person five feet five inches tall.

Becoming aware of such biases will allow the individual to take measures either to eradicate or at least minimise their potential negative impact upon the encounter.

A singular opportunity

Meeting someone for the very first time provides a single, unique opportunity to impress. The importance of getting it right first time cannot be overestimated, nor can the consequences of getting it wrong. A poor first impression, once entrenched in the other person, is very resilient to change. Those who take advantage of this opportunity carefully craft and present what is in effect a thin slice of their character and personality. Their choice of words, the tone and pitch of their voice, how they convey themselves combined with an interactive approach will influence how they are perceived. Each individual has only one opportunity to make a positive first impression. Whether they do so or not depends entirely upon their actions and how they choose to interact with the other party.

John McKinlay BA MBA LLM MCIPS ACIArb is Director of Managing Negotiations Ltd, and a speaker at the Law Society of Scotland’s Annual Conference “Get Connected” on 10 March 2006. t: 01324 625632 e: j.mckinlay@blueyonder.co.uk