Ask Ash

Dear Ash,

I am a qualified solicitor of Asian origin. I have been in my current role for about six months but I am becoming increasingly frustrated at the way that I am being treated by my line manager. He seems to always bring my colour or cultural background into a conversation in front of people. For example during some friendly banter between myself and some other members of the department, my line manager joined our conversation but began to talk about his love of curries and jokingly suggested that I should cook him a curry if I wanted to progress in the department! He also seems to constantly ask about my parents’ country of origin and has asked me for curry recipes when I have previously advised him that I do not cook curries. I do not want to lose my job by complaining about him but I am becoming increasingly disheartened by his attitude. What can I do?

Ash replies:

Despite the progress in race relations and such legislation in the past 30 years or so, it is still unfortunate that some people find it difficult to look past someone’s colour when dealing with them.

I think from what you have said your line manager is perhaps ignorant of how to address you without focusing on blatant stereotypes. Stereotypes only distort a person’s perception of another human being and prevent them from seeing the real person behind the stereotype.

I would suggest that, given the comments that have been directed towards you by your manager, it may be worthwhile just having a private word with him in order to advise how you feel about his comments. He may be totally unaware that he is causing you such distress and may think in his own distorted way that he is actually being inclusive by highlighting the uniqueness of your cultural background! Try to prepare some bullet points to assist you in what you want to say and perhaps highlight some things like music or other activities that you are interested in order to provide him with an insight as to the type of person you really are, instead of the perceived stereotype he thinks you can relate to.

If you feel that matters do not improve despite the informal chat with your manager, I would suggest you speak to your HR department in the firm. It would probably be worthwhile having the initial discussion on a confidential basis in order to allow confirmation of the options available to you. It would then be for you to take the decision as to whether to take the matter onto a more formal level.

If you do not have an HR department at your place of work or you would feel more comfortable contacting someone outwith the firm then I would advise you to seek guidance from the Law Society of Scotland on such matters. Again such advice can be sought on a confidential basis and may prove beneficial, especially given that they would offer you a more objective perspective on the issue at hand. The Society’s Head of Diversity is happy to chat about this or any other equality/diversity issue or query on a confidential basis, whether at an individual level or with any member of the profession who may be concerned about something happening in their own organisation.

I would strongly advise you to try not to let this individual’s comments have an impact upon your motivation at work. I realise it may be hard and that you are currently feeling disheartened, but in the end you should try to illustrate the reason you were employed by the firm in the first place, i.e. for your legal skills and not your cooking ones!