Ask Ash

Dear Ash

I am becoming increasingly frustrated by the actions of a new recruit in our department. She is insincere and duplicitous; however, only I seem to be able to see through the façade. As a recent example, she was sitting at her desk doing her internet shopping while the rest of us were working away, but as soon as she saw the manager approaching, she came over to my desk and started telling me loudly about the errors she had noticed in the documents she had been asked to look at.

Our boss seemed impressed with her attention to detail, but as soon as he walked off, she smiled and went back to her shopping. She also has a tendency to make complimentary remarks to the more senior members of the team but then takes every opportunity to poke fun at them when they are not in earshot.

I also discovered that she recently lied in order to cover her mistakes and to gain sympathy. She blamed a trainee for the mistakes she made in some client letters, but more worryingly also advised a colleague in another department that she was not able to focus on her work because of all the bullying and intimidation from the rest of the department! I want to tell the manager about my concerns, but I fear that as my colleague is so manipulative, she will manage to play the victim and I will be the one to look bad.

Ash replies:

“The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.” Your colleague has told so many different things to different people it will only be a matter of time before her lies catch up with her and cause her to become entangled in her own web of deceit.

Despite what you might think, others in the department may also have picked up on her two-faced character, but may have chosen to ignore it in the hope that she will eventually trip up and reveal her true self. Her behaviour only demonstrates her own weakness and potential insecurities and it is sad that she feels she has to go to such great lengths to try to impress people rather than just being true to herself.

Unfortunately, in the meantime, you have to be extra vigilant and need to ensure you take some practical steps in order to prevent being caught up in the lies. For example, try to ensure that when you communicate to her, you do so in front of someone else to prevent her trying to make up lies about you later. When she attempts to talk to you about other staff, try not to respond and instead walk away – this will hopefully give her the message that you do not want to be a party to such conversations.

Confronting someone so manipulative may just backfire, as she may just feign becoming upset and you could then stand accused of causing her undue upset or, indeed, of bullying. Be patient and in time her true colours will be revealed. In the meantime, keep up the good work with your fake personality radar!