Ask Ash

Dear Ash

I feel someone in the office is deliberately making me the target of office gossip. I recently overheard two junior members of staff speaking in the toilets about my apparent affairs at the office. They seemed to be discussing how they had both heard rumours from separate sources about my behaviour. Of course both went silent when they spotted me and I pretended not to have overheard them. I have been in a committed relationship for over five years and feel frustrated and angry that someone has seen fit to spread malicious gossip about me. Ever since hearing the gossip, I seem unable to focus at work as I am anxious to know which one of my colleagues is behind the spreading of such rumours. I’m not sure how to set the record straight in order to regain some credibility at work.

Ash replies

Being the target of such gossip can of course be extremely painful and frustrating. However, trying somehow to contain the rumours may be futile, as there is a saying that: “Trying to squash a rumour is like trying to unring a bell”. Moreover, the rumours may not be as widespread as you fear; and by attempting to uncover the culprit behind the gossip you may inadvertently cause more colleagues to become aware of the situation.

The fact that someone chose to make you the target of malicious gossip is of course concerning, and it is more than likely a deliberate ploy to undermine your credibility at work. If the situation persists and continues to affect your work, then I suggest that at that point you speak to an HR manager or your line manager to advise of the situation and to confirm any suspicions you may have about the source of the gossip. Your employer is vicariously liable for the actions of all employees and should accordingly take action to investigate the situation, especially where the gossip has an adverse affect on your ability to cope at work. By taking the step of reporting the situation, you may, as indicated, risk more people becoming aware of the situation, but at the same time you may help dispel such gossip.

Spreading rumours is a cowardly attempt at attacking an individual and it is important that you do not allow such action to undermine you as a person. Stay strong and keep your head high, and more importantly do not be tempted to isolate yourself from others at work as a consequence of the rumour mill, as this will only help to fuel any gossip!

• Please note that letters to Ash are not received at the Law Society of Scotland. The Society offers a support service for trainees through its Registrar’s Department. For one-to-one advice contact Katie Wood, Manager in the Registrar’s Department on 0131 476 8105/8200, or KatieWood@lawscot.org.uk