Ask Ash: Heart ruling head?

My colleague and good friend has developed a crush on one of our senior managers. I have tried to warn her against pursuing this as the manager in question has a bit of a reputation for being a flirt with everyone. However, my friend seems to think he is her ideal man and that there is no harm in pursuing a relationship. I suspect that the manager just likes having younger female attention and is not the type to settle down, but my friend refuses to listen and seems adamant she will go with her heart on this. I know it’s going to end badly and she will get hurt, and I don’t want it to impact on her job either.

It’s admirable that you are trying to look out for your friend. However, at the end of the day, she is going to do what she wants and all you can do is to try to be there for her if and when things don’t work out for her.

Relationships at work can be challenging for a variety of reasons, but especially where there is a managerial dynamic involved, as it could risk animosity developing from other colleagues who may perceive some form of favouritism. Also, any relationship breakup in such a dynamic could impact adversely on future career prospects.

You point out that the manager in question tends to be generally flirtatious, therefore your friend is likely to be deluded about the prospects of a full on romantic relationship with this person. Let’s just hope that the manager is therefore kind and decent enough to put things right at an early stage by letting your friend down gently, and to save her any prolonged heartache, as well as you any more headache!

“Ash” is a solicitor who is willing to answer work-related queries from solicitors and other legal professionals, which can be put to them via the editor. Confidence will be respected and any advice published will be anonymised.

Please note that letters to Ash are not received at the Law Society of Scotland. The Society offers a support service for trainees through its Education, Training & Qualifications team. Email  legaleduc@lawscot.org.uk or phone 0131 226 7411 (select option 3).