Ask Ash: Chill at first sight

Dear Ash,

There is a new colleague who has joined our team, but she seems to have taken an instant dislike to me and I’m not sure why.  She has made a point of catching up with everyone in our team on a one to one basis to introduce herself, except with me. Also when I’ve emailed her about cases, she does not respond to me and will instead normally talk to another colleague also working with me on the cases. I’m not sure what her problem is, but it is difficult to say anything to anyone when everyone else seems to like her.

Ash replies:

You can either give your new colleague the benefit of the doubt and assume she is just trying to adjust to her new surroundings, or you can look to arrange your own catch-up with her to suss out what may be causing her to act in this way. It is clearly bothering you, so it is worth arranging a coffee catch-up, to introduce yourself properly, and to outline your role and experience. This will help to break the ice and allow you to get to know each other better.

She may just be shy or perhaps intimidated by your specific role, especially if you are in a more senior role in the team than others? Someone’s inherent shyness can sometimes come across as arrogance so I would suggest giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

Of course, if she does continue to blank you then there may be something bothering her at a deeper level. In that case you will need to try to address her behaviour as, at the end of the day, even she needs to understand that you both need to work together, whether she likes it or not.

“Ash” is a solicitor who is willing to answer work-related queries from solicitors and other legal professionals, which can be put to her via the editor: peter@connectmedia.cc. Confidence will be respected and any advice published will be anonymised.

Please note that letters to Ash are not received at the Law Society of Scotland. The Society offers a support service for trainees through its Education, Training & Qualifications team.

Email legaleduc@lawscot.org.uk or phone 0131 226 7411 (select option 3).