Ask Ash: The bully above

I am now being managed by a new lawyer in the department and although he is really clever and charismatic with clients, he has a tendency to lose his temper with me quite abruptly. I have now been shouted at a couple of times by him and am fearful of it happening again. I don’t feel anyone else will believe me as he puts on the charm offensive in front of others, especially more senior managers. I’m finding the situation is impacting upon my mental health, and I have taken some days off work and don’t want to go back.

I am sorry you are being treated in this way and it is not acceptable.

Your manager is seemingly able to keep his cool and apply the charm in front of senior managers but chooses to act in a less professional stance towards you. He seems to be a poor manager as he is choosing not to focus on investing time and effort into his staff to inspire and motivate them, and instead is effectively acting as a bully.

I appreciate that speaking to the manager may seem too much at this stage, so I encourage you to speak to others to help get some support.

This is not your fault and you should call out his behaviour to someone in your firm, as it is clearly impacting your confidence and wellbeing. I appreciate it can feel overwhelming to speak out, but perhaps start off by speaking to another colleague in your department as you may find that you are not alone in the way you are being treated. This in itself could give you some assurance and help you take the next step of speaking up to a more senior manager or HR.

Many firms are increasingly focused upon the importance of mental health and wellbeing, and you should be able to rely on support to address this issue. However, if you do not receive such support then do take steps to get external support such as LawCare, and speak to your GP too.

The key message I would relay is that you do not have to accept such behaviour, and that no job is worth your mental health being impacted in this way; therefore please reach out and seek support.