Back by popular demand… Ask Ash!

Dear Ash,

Since being promoted in my department, I have noticed that the attitude of a couple of colleagues has changed towards me. I feel as though they are unhappy about my promotion and are taking their frustrations out on me. I work very hard but tend to downplay my experience and successes, and I feel they are making it clear that they don’t think I deserve my promotion. Recently when I went to make a cup of coffee in the office, I found them talking and whispering about something, but they went quiet as soon as they saw me. One of them also ignored me when I said hello and pretended not to hear me when I asked her to help me with a document. She also omitted to include me in an email about a social event and began smirking when I asked her about it.

I am finding it increasingly difficult to get any co-operation from them both on casework. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to try to work with them in our relatively small team. This is all having a real impact on my mental health, and I dread going to work.

Ash replies:

What you describe is effectively playground bullying and it is appalling that some people fail to grow out of certain childish behaviours. You were promoted based on your merits, and it is not for them to judge whether you deserved it or not. You have no reason to feel bad or guilty about your success.

Both of your colleagues are clearly insecure, otherwise they would be happy for you and indeed would be encouraged about potential opportunities for their own promotion. They are acting unprofessionally and seem to be on a deliberate mission to put you down. I would suggest that you raise your concerns confidentially with your line manager and explain the effect their behaviour is having on your mental health. You could also put forward some suggestions as to what would help you to feel more empowered again at work. One suggestion may be for your manager to highlight your new responsibilities at the next team meeting to reinforce reporting lines and to make clear your merits for the role.

A good manager will not want to lose you and should address such behaviour promptly by at least having a stern word with them both. Your manager may also consider some short-term respite for you by removing the need for you to have to deal with them both directly to help you to rebuild your confidence.

In the meantime, do consider taking time out for the sake of your health and well-being, even for a day or two. No one should ever have to put up with such toxic behaviour, whether it is in the playground or the office!

Over to you

How would you handle this situation? Do you have any other thoughts? Let us know by emailing Rebecca and we will collate and share across social media and in the Journal next month. 

If you have a question you would like Ash Ask to answer over the coming months, submit it confidentially to rebecca.morgan@thinkpublishing.co.uk